Why I love to write

I was talking with a long time friend of mine today. We talked about old times and how much we've changed. A big issue came up that he really seemed bothered with which  was how I'm not really into playing the piano as much as I used to be back when we were younger. I told him I still play but that I was really into poetry more now. I pulled out my notebook and decided to let him read over some poetry I had written... Basically he called me a liar and accused me of plyagerism lol. He couldn't believe that I am able to write like I do. He told me that he didn't understand how I am so nervous, shy, and awkward around people but am able to write the type of poetry that I write. This made me laugh but it also got me thinking of why I love writing so much: I am a goofy girl but I am a very reserved person. I just like to observe and take in everything that goes on around. Some people may not see me as the nervous type but once you get to know me closely you can tell that I often use my laugh as a shield. I have been called odd and weird many many times. I am very shy around new people. Its very hard for me to communicate with people I like. Its actually hard for me to communicate verbally with people period. Its hard for me to stay in contact with my friends. I always get very nervous and and uncomfortable when I am the center of attention which happens to be a lot lately- I have no clue why the hell that is! Dammit! The topic of emotions absolutely scares me. I'm just a hopeless case... BUT maaaaan give me a pen and paper and all of that disappears. Its almost like i'm a different person. I can easily write about anything that feels so uncomfortable leaving my mouth. My thoughts which seem so strained and scattered during regular conversation seem to flow with ease. When I'm writing I feel so sure of who I am and I can become whomever I want. When I write I feel powerful knowing that my words and thoughts are real and are coming straight from my heart. Knowing that my words can touch somebody is a feeling unparalled to anything else I've experienced. I have to write. Its a part of me. If I don't I cannot be complete.